Forever Forward

A writing community dedicated to personal growth, constructive criticism, and all forms of writing! All are welcome here, we don't bite.
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  GalleryGallery  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  
Similar topics
Stumble Me!
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 
Rechercher Advanced Search
Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search
October 2017
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    
CalendarCalendar
Latest topics
» We Don't Stop Till Someone's Bleeding
Fri May 20, 2011 12:16 am by Admin

» Pandora's Punishment
Tue May 10, 2011 2:18 pm by Kayumi

» Checkmate! (Sequal to If This Is Just Chess...)
Mon May 09, 2011 1:18 am by Admin

» If This Is Just Chess Then Baby I'm Just A Pawn (Day Class Dragon)
Mon May 09, 2011 1:06 am by Admin

» Word Game Start
Fri Apr 29, 2011 8:18 pm by Admin

» Skin
Sun Apr 17, 2011 4:13 pm by Admin

» The dark room
Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:09 am by dan-of-darkness91

» The path I'm on
Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:19 pm by Admin

» Your Mother
Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:17 pm by Admin

Forum
Affiliates
free forum
 

Share | 
 

 dark rooms

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
magencena92
Newbie
Newbie


Posts : 9
Points : 2795
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2010-03-11
Age : 25
Location : port huron

PostSubject: dark rooms   Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:41 am

i wake in a room so coldnot knowing where i am theres no light coming into the room i sit
where i am woundering if any one is here in the room with me, i listen for a sound but nothing comes, i sigh then i hearfoot steps coming down the hall they stop in front of the door. i hearthe lock being unlocked then the door opens a bright light seems into the room and hits my face and then i see you
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Admin
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 126
Points : 2986
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2010-03-10
Age : 28
Location : Michigan

PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:45 am

I'm having a bit of trouble understanding if this is meant to be a poem or not, and you missed a few spaces. Woundering = wondering I believe, and I really wish you would have kept going. The face you see on the otherside of the door, is it male? Female? I want to know what they look like. Are they there to save you? To hurt you? It was a good start and has a lot of potential! I'm glad you submitted it and I hope this helped! Good luck, thanks for joining and keep posting!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://foreverforward.forum-motion.net
Kayumi
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 63
Points : 2874
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2010-03-10
Age : 28
Location : So many fascinating lands in my head

PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:22 pm

I have to agree with Kie. I wish you would have continued this piece. The thought of someone locked up and seeing a bright light made me wonder what was going to happen to the prisoner. Or is she a prisoner? Why was the person locked up in the room to begin with? Do they know? Well, thanks for posting this and keep up the good work!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
magencena92
Newbie
Newbie


Posts : 9
Points : 2795
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2010-03-11
Age : 25
Location : port huron

PostSubject: thnks   Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:39 pm

i like to write but at the time it was all tht came to my mind i have more tht i would like to post but i cant find them right now other wise i would but thnks again for reading it
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: dark rooms   

Back to top Go down
 
dark rooms
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Dark Deck
» Need help: How to paint dark and medium dark skin?
» dark magician deck
» Dark World Drain (KCVDS)
» Dark World Deck

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Forever Forward :: Intro's :: Writing Samples-
Jump to: