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 A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)

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Keirstati
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PostSubject: A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)   Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:37 pm

OKAY! An explanation before the story. I am a Gaia fag, and while messing around on Gaia with a few of my fellow Gaia fags, we stumbled across a LJ account about writing short stories based on a daily theme. A few of us wrote a few stories... here is one of mine. It follows a long, drawn out plot of my own creation and therefore may be a bit confusing, yet there is enough here to grasp what's going on in this little section of my time line. It is also a bit out of character with my usual themes. I don't do much of the emotional stuff. =P The part about the wish is quite significant in this story. If you'd like to know more about it send me a PM and I will be happy to explain.

Theme: "My heart is hardn'd, I cannot repent" (I know "hardn'd" is odd but that's how it was spelled on the LJ posting *shrugs*)

Prospective: Morrigan


"I loved him, but he didn't have eyes for me. He said he was too young for love. He wanted to live a little more... more experience! WE could have done that together! We could have been with each other... until my wish came true."


I was swimming in a river near Prince Damon's castle when I looked up and saw him... Roan... He was sitting under a tree watching the clouds. He didn't notice me in the water, or when I walked up behind him. When I had gotten close I seen he wasn't just looking at the clouds. He was making origami that looked like some of the shapes the clouds took. I thought it was cute. He had made a bunny, a flower, a kitten, a crane, and a small castle. I cleared my throat to let him know I was there. When he turned and looked at me my heart stopped. He was so handsome. I thought I would never catch my breath and that my heart would never beat again. But they did and he smiled when I didn't say anything. Oh.... when he smiled my breath stopped again.

'Why don't you sit with me?' He asked me, still wearing that gorgeous smile.

'S-sure', I managed to stutter out as I sat as gracefully as I could.

He looked over at me and his smile grew into a nervous one, 'Are you okay?’, he asked leaning a little closer to me.

I blushed furiously, 'Yes, just fine. I- I was swimming in the river and seen you. I was curios about what you were doing so I came up here for a closer look.', I said with a nervous smile off my own.

He smile changed again back to that one that kept stealing my breath away. It was all most like torture, torture that I could have endured for an eternity. I was smitten. Completely taken with this young man. He was polite, intelligent, handsome, funny, charming... Perfect.

He was all I had wanted. All that I couldn't have. The only thing keeping me from him was, well, him.


We had been friends for a long time. He wanted to stay just friends. I wanted more. One night I finally gathered enough courage to tell him so. That's when it happened...

'I-I Love you Roan! Please! Don't you love me to?' I looked at him pleadingly.

'Not that way Morrigan' He said, sighing. 'I don't want an attachment. I'm going to war. I'm going to make a career. I don't know if I'm going to come back... I don't want to do that to you.'

'So you don't love me at all? Not one little bit?' I asked, taking a step closer to him.

He answered me, taking a step back as he spoke. 'No. Not like the way you feel for me. I love you like a sister. Or a close friend... '

Tears welled up in my eyes I couldn't hear a word after he had said no... My eyes burned and every thing looked red.

'I was willing to give you my LIFE! How could you just spurn my love like that!'

'Easy! I DON'T love you! Morrigan, what don't you understand about that? I'm sorry if I hurt you but I'm not just going to say yes to make you feel better. That would be more cruel than telling you no.'

I began to sob. He was tearing out the heart that he had all ready stolen from me. 'Roan....'

He shook his head. 'Maybe we shouldn't spend time together anymore... I have to go Morrigan. I have to be up early tomorrow.'

I stood and looked over at him, the hurt and hate welling back up in me like lava in a volcano that is about to erupt. 'No...', I said half pleading, half snarling.

Roan backed up a little 'Good-bye Morrigan. I'm sorry but I don't love you and I can't. I don't see you like that and I'm not going to pretend to. If I tried to just go along with this it would only end up hurting us both more that you are hurting now.'

'HOW WOULD IT HURT YOU?'I screamed angrily at him.

Roan looked calmly at me with those beautiful, silvery, eyes... but for some reason they looked more dull and gray. 'Because' He whispered, pausing as he prepared to finish mangling my heart. 'When I finally found the woman I really loved I'd be torn between true love and the empty promise I made you.'

I looked over at him with a darkening gaze. I had a feeling of how he would answer this question but I just HAD to ask. 'If you did marry me and then finally met your "true love" who would you chose?'

Roan sighed; he head tilted to one side, an exasperated look on his face 'I knew you'd ask.'

'WHO Roan? Who would you chose?'

'The other woman Morrigan! Because I would love her... when I don't love you.'

I was so shocked. My heart and breath stopped yet again, but for a different reason. When I finally caught my breath again I turned and stomped off.

I was sitting near the river, at the spot where I had first seen him, when I seen a shooting star. I made a wish, the wish, I wished that all living things would die. Just like my heart just had... and you know, I don't regret any of it. Not one second. Not even the wish it self.
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PostSubject: Re: A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)   Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:09 pm

Oh, Keir, it's so sad! Crying or Very sad I could honestly feel for Morrigan. This piece shows good description and I liked the glimpse into the character's weak moment. So, does Roan ever find "her"? There were also a couple times when you said something like, "I seen him there". Careful about that. I really loved it! And I still find myself saying, "Poor, poor Morrigan."
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PostSubject: Re: A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)   Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:27 pm

Doh. That should totally be "I saw him there." *facepalm* I'll watch for that now. That's me, writing something awesome and messing it up with silly little mistakes. =P

I find it amusing that you feel bad for her. She actually a villain in my plot. As you can see she became rather obsessed with poor Roan. After this moment she becomes a cold, heartless woman. And yes Roan has found someone... unique... is how I shall put it. He's currently having a hard time, though.
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PostSubject: Re: A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)   Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:32 pm

I can see that she's a villain now that you've said it...And I can see why she became a villain. I just didn't know that at the time and I just saw a poor girl with her heart broken. Sad Don't worry about the silly grammar things (I once changed a character's name in the middle of the story without realizing it once) because they're easily fixed. :-) I hope you post more about this story. I would love to hear it!
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PostSubject: Re: A Missing Heart Unintentionally Stolen. (The Noob's Sample)   Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:19 pm

And she even makes mistakes in casual writing.

"I once changed a character's name in the middle of a story without realizing it once." Really Kay? Meh, it happens. God knows I do it too now and then. It's why you employ a good friend to catch them for you!

Heh... heh... Love ya Kay... you too Keir. Miss ya hun!
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